Behaviour and manners

[L P]

My parents many moons ago would all ways told us when we went to the grandparents ,,Speak when you are spoken to and not before ,never ask without first saying please and thankyou . If they were talking ,not to interrupt and don't be nosey .
Young parents nowadays have lost the ability to square their kids up ,too frightened to do anything incase the little darlings report them and social services come knocking .

Just how I was taught... nearly seen but not heard. Its not really the parents fault these days, no good parent wants their kids taken away. I often wonder with my boys when they are acting up where the benefit of "time out" is vs a good smacked arse... one larrup is not forgotten fast... sending them to their bedroom as punishment... wtf, you want them to be happy when they go to bed not see it as a punishment room. 3 yo here is constantly overstepping the mark and I find it quite saddening that for the short time I see him of an evening it's often interrupted with "time out". Looking back, having threat of the whip from the old dear and a bruised arse half a dozen times over childhood the rest was very simple and happy.... purely because you knew the line and tried not to overstep it.... we had it far better before all this nonsense. Educate them, but don't beat them OP.... only ever will you be doing your DIL a favour long term. Had the opposite with ex wife's family, grand parents let them get away with murder... MIL didn't talk to me for 3 months when I told my daughter to get off the table and sit down, I think I was right in telling her it's not OK to walk up and down the table mid Sunday lunch... I just don't see the place for that personally, unless the future is pole dancing... and I don't want her into that!

 

[Still Farming]

Teachers to strike at Welsh school over ‘violent and abusive behaviour’

Some teachers are now refusing to teach some pupils at the school who the union say ‘pose a risk to staff’

www.walesonline.co.uk

 

[Timbo]

Teachers to strike at Welsh school over ‘violent and abusive behaviour’

Some teachers are now refusing to teach some pupils at the school who the union say ‘pose a risk to staff’

www.walesonline.co.uk

How about they man up & lay down the law abit more?

 

[thorpe]

How about they man up & lay down the law abit more?

teachers created a culture of less disaplin, and now it's bitting them on the arse but it's society in general that suffer's

 

[ollie989898]

teachers created a culture of less disaplin, and now it's bitting them on the arse but it's society in general that suffer's

Disagree- parents created a culture of less discipline. It's not the state's job to teach your kids discipline.

 

[ski]

Disagree- parents created a culture of less discipline. It's not the state's job to teach your kids discipline.

no maybe not, but it is not the states jobs to teach ill-discipline, which they do by espousing a culture of 'everything is relative, it's all just a matter of opinion' materialist narrative. Discipline can only exist within a clearly defined set of boundaries and if you believe every man is their own master then logically every man becomes his own judge. Not difficult to see where that leads....

 

[ollie989898]

no maybe not, but it is not the states jobs to teach ill-discipline, which they do by espousing a culture of 'everything is relative, it's all just a matter of opinion' materialist narrative. Discipline can only exist within a clearly defined set of boundaries and if you believe every man is their own master then logically every man becomes his own judge. Not difficult to see where that leads....

We live in a democracy where free speech is sacrosanct.

I don't know what alternative you are proposing. It is not the state's job to discipline your children. Personally I think disruptive pupils should be kicked out of class as I don't want them disrupting the learning of the children who do know how to behave. I'd expel persistent offenders and send them down the job centre on Monday. I suppose a spell in a young offenders institute might be necessary for some of them, I'd be in favour of that.

 

[Ffermer Bach]

Disagree- parents created a culture of less discipline. It's not the state's job to teach your kids discipline.

society created a culture of less discipline, there are certain communities where there is still more discipline, such as the farming community, and that is why in my old job, employers used to want to take on a farmers son as an apprentice.

 

[ollie989898]

society created a culture of less discipline, there are certain communities where there is still more discipline, such as the farming community, and that is why in my old job, employers used to want to take on a farmers son as an apprentice.

I didn't create a society which affords anyone less discipline, nor can I think of anyone else I know who has. The fact of the matter is that parents must instil discipline in their kids. And if they are incapable of doing it, their children will be in for a shock when they reach adulthood because it takes a certain level of discipline to survive in modern Britain. Even the lucky few whose parents are wealthy enough to pave their way entirely through life with cash aren't really doing themselves a favour really as there are plenty of pitfalls to that lifestyle.

 

[HatsOff]

It is easier to be soft and modern parenting relies on a lot of non-parent caring which the parents have little input on (nursery, schools, creches, grandparents). This is the reality of needing two incomes to have a hope of living a reasonable lifestyle.

However the answer is not violence. Taking away things they like: deprivation of treats and refusal to bow their demands works better and is more realistic. You don't expect to be whacked by someone when you're an adult and if you are then they should end up in front of a magistrate. How is that a good lesson to teach children?

 

[MRT]

However the answer is not violence. Taking away things they like: deprivation of treats and refusal to bow their demands works better and is more realistic. You don't expect to be whacked by someone when you're an adult and if you are then they should end up in front of a magistrate. How is that a good lesson to teach children?

You absolutely will be whacked by another adult if you do some things you shouldn't!

 

[Ffermer Bach]

It is easier to be soft and modern parenting relies on a lot of non-parent caring which the parents have little input on (nursery, schools, creches, grandparents). This is the reality of needing two incomes to have a hope of living a reasonable lifestyle.

However the answer is not violence. Taking away things they like: deprivation of treats and refusal to bow their demands works better and is more realistic. You don't expect to be whacked by someone when you're an adult and if you are then they should end up in front of a magistrate. How is that a good lesson to teach children?

I think there is a difference between wanton violence or abuse and correctly administered corporal punishment.

I remember in school, everyone was well behaved in woodwork, if not, you bent over the bench and got a whack on the arse with a piece of timber, I can also remember an english teacher shouting something like "right, you know what you are going to be doing this thursday at 4pm?", "going home" to howls of laughter from the class, "detention". No one would have dared take the mickey like that in woodwork.

 

[ollie989898]

It is funny how some teachers never needed to raise their voice. Just their presence alone was enough menace. I recall persistent offenders ended up in small groups being stuck with a particular teacher for hour after hour each day. They hated every second of it.

 

[New Puritan]

Young parents nowadays have lost the ability to square their kids up ,too frightened to do anything incase the little darlings report them and social services come knocking .

Sorry, but what a load of cobblers. Apart from anything it doesn't make sense - badly behaved kids take that behaviour with them to school and then that's when social services would start getting interested, if they do at all.

 

[Netherfield]

Niece's kids always got a present at Christmas and Birthdays, one year not one of the three said or sent a thank you, next year they got nothing, resulting in long faces from children and parents.

Mrs N's sister asked the reason, when told she said it was her fault, the kid's had asked her to say it for them.

Mrs told her sister straight it was not her job to do it and if the kids could not be bothered there would never be any more presents at all. A couple of days later 3 shame face kids appeared at he door to say thank you. Presents giving resumed the year after, did them good to miss a year.


A few years ago Mrs N invited her best friend from school and her husband(2nd) and kids to come on Boxing Day, Adam the middle lad was a spoiled little beggar, muleish and sullen when young.

Adam started having a go at his mum about something or other, Mrs N stopped what she was doing and turned on him, told him what a little sh!t he was and if he didn't apologise he'd get nothing to eat at all, how lucky he was to have such a good mother and stepfather who didn't owe Adam a thing but had brought him up as his own after his father had abandoned him. Adam was now 18 years and had never learned to be grateful for anything, said his grandad didn't like him, hardly surprising the way he behaved, he did apologise and mended his ways for a time.

Stepfather found it hard because he'd get 'you're not my dad you can't tell me what to do'.

Adam is now 40 still sponging off his mother, stepfather has given up on him and won't have him in the house.

 

[kfpben]

Interesting thread this as a parent of a nearly 2 year old.
He doesn’t really have ‘manners’ as such yet as he only knows a few words (all farm related apart from ‘mumma’ and ‘dada’) but unlike most other kids he isn’t interested in screens at all. The only thing he will watch even briefly is videos of tractors or cows. Anything else he just wanders off.

He’s been in hospital a bit recently and had to sit still or stay in bed for some time on a drip and the nurses said it was so unusual to have a child who wasn’t into screens these days. My wife and I were quite proud!

 

[britishblue]

It's the screens that wind me up with our eldest daughter. She would look at tv or i pad all day if we let her! The next two are not bothered and walk away from tv to play with toys! The youngest (4) has sat on the tractor spreading muck with me for most of the day and I love it although answering 60 questions an hour can get very tiring!

 

[melted welly]

We had FiL (70) staying for a while and a lot of what’s been said about kids behaviour would be applicable to him! Same with the screens, must’ve spent 8hr a day parked at the kitchen table on his laptop. Think the behaviour pattern may be cyclical

 

[L P]

It is funny how some teachers never needed to raise their voice. Just their presence alone was enough menace. I recall persistent offenders ended up in small groups being stuck with a particular teacher for hour after hour each day. They hated every second of it.

You mean detention? Christ, I probably owe 150 hours of that still! Lucky I stumbled through A levels and left before they changed the rules, skipping detention amounted to double detention and so on, so never went to it, just let it accumulate til sent to headmaster, who loved farming. A stern bollocking later whilst disturbing his family supper on the odd occasion got on to a long chat about farming and a glass of claret passed to me by his lovely, often inebriated wife. Respect is earned in so many ways, I had the ultimate respect for the powers that be, stern bollocking, genuine apology, reward... and Jock Mcbroom the geography teacher, old enough to be a fossil, stern enough to be your own father, knowledgeable enough to really learn from, used to get exhausted for teaching and put on a national geographic video, fell asleep in minutes.. out of courtesy I'd give him a nudge on the way out to forewarn him the next class was incoming. Respect is definitely earned, not demanded, you cannot always appear be your child's best friend and be a good parent.

 

[FonterraFarmer]

Daughter in law is a 'high profile London socal worker ' and takes a very dim view of any correcting of her kids and takes it as a critism of her parenting !
.... its really difficult

All the more,reason to stick your oar in and rock the boat, personally I don't give a f**k who people are, just call it as you see it, if their offended then that's their f**king problem!!!!